The Cosmos

What you are looking for.. happiness, peace, and joy.. they are all in the present moment. Look at a tree. A wonderful thing is a tree. 

You look at tree and see the whole cosmos. 

I saw the sun shine in the tree. 

Without the sunshine, no tree can grow.

Without rain, no tree can grow.

I can take refuge by a tree, and get nourishment by that tree. 

Our every in breath is their out breath.

Our every out breath is their in breath. 

The roots deliver.

The trunk is firm and strong.

The branches are sturdy and some are weak.

The leaves are born.

The leaves die.

Like all aspects our lives. 

I can look at the tree, but only see the tree by going back to the present moment. 

You don’t have to die to go into the kingdom of heaven. In fact you have to be alive to do so. 

When you get lost in anger, fear, jealousy.. when you get lost in forgetfulness.. the tree is still there. 

Be mindful. Start with a breath. 

We should appreciate people the way we appreciate a tree. You look at a tree,some bent, some straight. You look at a tree and allow it. You see why it is the way it is. You understand that the bent tree didn’t get enough light, and so you just allow it. You appreciate it. 
My religion is the same as this tree. 

4:09 a.m.

4:09 a.m. -Is it the bed shaking? The earth rumbling? Startled, I wake up quickly to discover silence.

4:09 a.m. -My bed is vibrating. I’m awake but asleep all at once. I can’t move my body. I try so hard to move a hand or foot. The vibrating gets stronger. With a gasp, I sit up to discover silence. 

4:09 a.m. -It’s different. I feel the vibrating. This time I’m not afraid. This time I know the bed is not shaking. This time I knew it was something inside of me. Some kind of energy. I quickly drifted back to sleep and nothing happened. 

4:09 a.m. -Vibrations. Now accompanied with a bright light. Not the kind of light you can see. It was a light you can feel. I was drawn into it. Afraid, I wouldn’t allow myself to be drawn in. Awake but asleep, again, I can’t move. But that’s ok, at least it’s not the light. Back to sleep.

4:09 a.m. -Vibrations. Light. I surrender. I surrender to this feeling of love and compassion. A peace I’ve never known. This time it speaks to me. Without words, without images. I just know clearly what I need to do. Or what I need to not do. 

Today -It’s been several weeks and I have not followed through with what I know I must do.

Broken hearts, aching souls, and a mothers love

I lay at night alone, but warm. I make all decisions on my own, but I’m free from so much more. I take vacations to spa’s and meditation retreats, because I need to be touched and I need to recenter. My cuddle buddy is warm tiny bodies crowding my bed.
I plan and tackle. I cook, I clean, I change my tires and cut wood for winter. I cry, I laugh. I sleep with a shot gun next to my bed because that is my protector. Sometimes when I become afraid in the night.. Well, I do nothing because being afraid is not an option.I have learned that I am enough.

 I am enough…

I am enough.

There are no boundaries. 

I ask myself every day, “how are you doing it?” The answer is simple.. Broken hearts, aching souls, and a mothers love make you one hell of a strong woman. 
-For you my friend.

The North Star

I hardly knew him. His favorite color, his birthday, his interests, his history. But did all of that really matter?
I thought so then.
He was part of me so deeply, I would soon discover.
It was inevitable that we would reunite.
I was lost, and by thy Grace, I found everything I was looking for that year.
The year of the North Star.
I never paid no mind to the constellation. I had no idea which star was the North Star. But that night, when we first connected, by the tip of his colorfully inked hand, I saw the North Star. I had no idea that night was the beginning of a new journey.
That night, it was clear to me, I needed to know more. And he would be the one to show me my path.
Right then I knew I loved him so deeply. But I didn’t even know him. But I really love him. With my whole heart. He understood me, and I him.
We shared pain, experiences, stories, our beliefs..
We shared DNA as if we were the same person.
Discovering along the way, it wasn’t just me who needed him, but he needed me just as equally. We both had holes to fill. And that we did.
We’ve learned so much from each other. And have established some pretty great memories. Although the memories haven’t been a lifetime’s worth, they are worth so much more.
No matter what, no matter where… I know we will always be together. By the direction of the North Star, our souls will always be connected.

When I look into a star lit sky today, I see nothing but the North Star.
Sometimes… On the way to a dream you get lost and find a better one.
I love you Dad.

My religion is the same as that tree

God, the divine, is one, but at the same time He is many.

God may be seen differently from different angles. But he is the same God.

Is there really any difference between one religion and another?

There is only one truth, but it’s called different names by different people. One person might say their views and way of life is by far best because it is pleasing to him. Another person will say that’s wrong but that his road is the best. But when they reach their destinations won’t they be at the same goal? Truth.

Religion is often about who’s in and who’s out, creating a worldview steeped in “us against them.”

Spirituality rejects this dualism and speaks of us and them.

More people have been killed over religious beliefs than any other reason in history. -If they really love God, why do they kill others in His Name?

Religion says, “If you accept me in my way, then you are good.”

Spirituality says, “You do not have to follow my way. Follow your way soulfully and reach your destined goal.”

Love is oneness. Love is a state of being.


“Feeling the oneness of yourself with all things is true love.”  Eckhart Tolle

“You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”                  Friedrich Nietzsche

Removing the Waste

The voice in my head: Is it worth the climb? If you don’t believe in every step your taking along the way. If you don’t believe in what waits for you at the top. If there’s no sense of meaning… Bury the ego.. Remove it from your life and make room for peace before it consumes you. We don’t have to spend our time as someone’s robot.

Me: Oh but I want to be proud and in control, I don’t want to disappoint, and I definitely don’t want to quit. I’ve already invested so much time!

The voice: What about your happiness?….or unhappiness… It’s time to make room for better things! It’s time to make a real difference!

Me: What will everyone think? How will this affect others? Most importantly, the people I love?

The voice: Sometimes the right choice is not always the easiest choice. When you stop caring what others think, you’ll understand peace and freedom on a very different level.

Me: I… Just… Can’t..

The voice: You said you wanted control?